


Reignition

by Rainripple



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, I PROMISE YOU THEY'LL GET TOGETHER EVENTUALLY, M/M, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Unrequited Love, basically eustace gets his emotions back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 18:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18900625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainripple/pseuds/Rainripple
Summary: 'The pangs of loss froze his heart, until he mistook his emptiness for resolve.But at some point warmth found him again, and the ice began to thaw.It's not that he'd forgotten his emotions; it was just that they'd begun working once more.The power he now possessed, so soft and comfortable he could cry, was all he could wield to protect that warmth.'A take on Eustace's growth throughout his life.UPDATED 27/5/19





	Reignition

**Author's Note:**

> It has been 6 days since Eustace single-handedly dragged me into gbf and I have overanalysed him TO DEATH. I threw together some words to try and convey all my thoughts on him. Eustace is a massively compelling character to me and his arc touches me in a lot of ways. I've tried to stick closely to canon but there were some gaps i had to supplement with headcanon. For the character notes I compiled on him or just random Eustace rambling, see my twitter @LuckyRainripple . When you get to the scene change that starts with 111 I suggest listening to the lumacee archipelago soundtrack while reading. Hope you enjoy :) EDIT: I've made some massive changes to this fic, I hope it's still satisfactory to you.

Eustace remembered the day the strange man had appeared.

 

He had been 14 and looking at the night sky with his brother. Something had shot across the sky and at the time they had put it down as a shooting star but in hindsight he knew it had been too slow and co-ordinated to be one.

 

In the morning, a human was at the front door, asking for directions to the mayor’s house. He claimed he was a ‘travelling scholar’ and his parents had invited him in for breakfast. For a village of wolf erune who lived in the far north, a human visitor was unusual. The man was relatively well dressed and seemed healthy enough to engage in pleasant conversation though Eustace remembered well how unnerved he had been at the barely concealed calculating look in those green eyes.

 

The man was seen around town a few times in the following days and appeared to be slowly integrating himself into the community.

 

And then the mayor’s wife disappeared.

 

Lots of the adults had gone out to search for her and then, just as they had given up hope of ever seeing her again, she returned home, the blue in her eyes just that little bit duller. She pointed fingers then on who had kidnapped her. Eustace’s father was one of them.

 

They all should have known how ridiculous it was. Eustace’s home was the very epitome of peace and tranquillity. The atmosphere was so amiable, so safe that locks were not even needed on the doors. Disputes were unheard of and when they did happen, they were resolved without violence.

 

This time was a lot more different. Some people believed her words while others protested, insisting that the accused were innocent. Throughout the argument, people were shouting to try and assert that their opinion was right. The debate ended when the mayor snapped and slapped the person most vocal against the accusations but the animosity didn’t dissipate. In fact, it only grew in strength each day, to the point where once friendly neighbours could not even look at each other without trying to start a fight. Eustace was afraid to walk the streets by himself. His home had become a broiling pit of hatred.

 

It was inevitable that it would come to a point eventually. He remembered watching the chaos from the safety of his bedroom window. Writhing crowds of people hacked at each other mercilessly with whatever sharp objects they possessed, eyes filled with incomprehensible anger. Eustace was unable to do anything to stop his brother from cutting down his mother. He had truly never seen anything like it.

 

In the end, the violence did not stop even when one side had fallen completely. The people supporting the accused’s innocence only had a few moments to relish the victory before the ground shaking drew their attention. A foreign force marched their way in, taking no heed in the corpses they were trampling in their wake. The man Eustace’s family had hosted only a short while ago lead them.

 

Armed with only axes and knives with very little combat experience, they were powerless to resist an army of battle primed robots. In the midst of burning buildings and the cries of his people being mercilessly slain, his brother retrieved Eustace and made their escape from inevitable death.

 

The whole town was aflame as they fled the borders of the only place they had known their entire life. Eustace would never forget the inferno that would forever be etched into his memory.

 

000

 

Eustace had lived in the frozen tundras where his village resided – _had_ resided – all of his life and the cold had never bothered him till now.

 

Maybe it was because he could still feel the phantom heat of the fire that had erased his home town from existence. The backs of his ears were still singed.

 

Maybe it was knowing with absolute certainty that he was alone and would be for the indefinite future. He and his brother had gotten some distance away from the town, not really sure where they were going other than away from the danger. One day, his brother left the camp to find them food and Eustace never saw him again. Wandering around only yielded a pair of blood-stained gloves. In hindsight he’d wished he’d kept them as the last keepsake from home but the snap of a twig immediately set off his fight or flight instinct and he’d dropped them in his haste to escape. From what, he didn’t know, he just did not want to die.

 

Fear kept him moving forward. Any rest was impeded by all too vivid flashbacks that made him cry out for a family that he’d never get back. He didn’t dare stop for food or water, scared that stopping would leave him open to ambush from whatever had taken his brother away from him. The occasional mouthful of snow he had as a meagre substitute only added to his suffering.

 

The silence was unbearable.

 

He had long since left the forest and was now trudging through the snowfields. In the midst of the storm, delirious, exhausted and alone, his mind conjured auditory hallucinations, twisting the whining of the wind into agonised screams. Nobody was there to comfort him or tell him otherwise.

 

It was inevitable that he would collapse, unable to take another step. As he lay there in the snow, he began to weep again, the feeling of loss just as fresh as it was mere days ago. Drifting into unconsciousness, he consoled himself with knowing that he’d at least get to reunite with his family on the other side.

 

000

 

That was what he had thought but he still ended up awake and very much alive. He took a few moments to take in the unfamiliar ceiling and the threadbare blanket that covered his body, not recognising anything he saw. Eustace was shaken out of his numb bewilderment when he turned his head to the left and made eye contact with another erune.

 

For a brief moment, he almost tricked himself into thinking he wasn’t the only one who had survived the massacre but that idea was shot down when he really looked. His people had very distinctive black ears, white hair and ice blue eyes. This man’s features were grey and his eyes were a dull gold.

 

Eustace froze in place, trying and failing to figure out what this man’s intentions were. After everything that had happened, nothing seemed trustworthy.

 

The stranger looked at him. “Awake?”

 

Eustace stared back at him.

 

They waited a few moments before continuing. “Are you from the north?”

 

This time at least he managed to nod.

 

“I see.” He rose from his seat at Eustace’s bedside. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”

 

As soon as their purple robes slipped out of the door, Eustace scrambled out of bed only to unceremoniously fall when his legs refused to function. Every failed attempt to get up only served to increase his panic, desperate to escape from this strange place he didn’t understand. Eustace hadn’t changed position when the man returned with a bowl of soup.

 

He tutted but still mercifully lifted Eustace back onto the bed.

 

“Honestly, I _told_ you not to move. You walked over 100km on those tiny legs of yours and they need rest.”

 

The man was right. Even when sat down, moving too much caused a lancing pain to run through his legs. Eustace wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while.

 

At first, Eustace refused to let the man feed him but his wariness gave in as hunger and exhaustion clamoured desperately for nourishment. The first spoon was too hot and made him jolt but the subsequent ones were cooled down enough for him to properly swallow.

 

Once full, he relaxed back into bed, sleep tugging at his eyelids.

 

000

 

They discussed a few things over the next few days while Eustace regained his strength.

 

The man’s name was Ronan. He was an erune too but from a land further south-east. Other towns had been suffering similar catastrophes like the one Eustace’s town had fallen victim to. From the sounds of it, Eustace had just been unlucky that his town had been the first one to perish like this.

 

Ronan had been on his way to a meeting with some other people to discuss what to do about this when he’d found Eustace collapsed. He’d stopped by at some stranger’s house to help with the recovery and would soon leave again. Ronan offered to take him along and seeing that Eustace had next to no other kin left, he had no other choice.

 

Eustace’s body was on the way to recovery but his mind not so much. He was wracked with flashbacks in his sleep and loud noises made him extremely skittish. Even at times when the grief was not at the immediate forefront of his mind, he was considerably subdued. He was lost and unsure of what to do with life now that everything had changed.

 

000

 

Eustace’s entrance to the meeting was a disaster.

 

In the room there had been maybe three people sat around the table and though he had been nervous, he had managed to keep his composure long enough for Ronan to explain his situation to the others. When a fourth person had entered behind them however, it had taken Eustace only one glance at the gun holstered at their hip for it to set him off.

 

Frankly there was nothing that anyone could have done to prepare for this. Though anxious, Eustace hadn’t experienced any panic attacks before and Ronan’s sabre did not cause any adverse reactions.

 

That being said, a screaming, hysterical child was not a thing that should be in a meeting room. Ronan escorted him out, Eustace barely registering the change as the roar of flames flickered with the glint of metal in front of his eyes. Even when he had finally calmed down, he still rocked back and forth, whimpering and non-verbal for hours afterwards.

 

For the moment, nobody was allowed to enter his room with a gun and though they talked to him with sugar-coated words, Eustace knew they secretly thought he was useless for being so weak. He hated the feeling but there was little he could do about it.

 

000

 

Learning to cope with his trauma was an uphill battle.

 

Unwilling to cause more disruption and equipped with little to no advice, Eustace had to try a lot of things to see what would help best. In hindsight, they may not have been the best methods but pressured at the time with the feeling that he would be forced to leave if he did not make himself useful, he went with what worked.

 

The Society, as it came to be known, formed in front of his eyes. The men in that meeting room with Ronan recruited agents and assigned orders to investigate ‘the Foe’. It’s power began to grow as did it’s base of operations.

 

With nothing else to aim for, Eustace decided he would help the cause in hopes of gaining revenge on the Foe who had taken everything from him. From that, he resolved to get rid of his inconvenient reaction to guns; guns were common in the outside world from what he’d heard and there was no way he could avoid them forever.

 

He attempted to visit the weapon room frequently, if only to slowly ease himself into getting more comfortable. The first change he made to himself when nothing worked was to lock his emotions away. From his point of view, they were what was keeping him back from everything. Eustace also did not forget that the battle had been a result of anger accumulating too much, however much of it was the Foe’s fault. Losing control like that would be detrimental to the plan and to Eustace. Being the master of his emotions would help with everything (that was what he’d believed).

 

One day, he picked up a gun.

 

000

 

He spent the next decade or so of his life diligently following orders. He listened and did as he was told, thinking only to view the mission critically and adjust to what came his way. Efficiency and flexible thinking were crucial in that sense.

 

He threw himself into mission and after mission, mind focused on what would lead him to the end result he desired.

 

If and when he had free time, he slinked off to a quiet location somewhere, away from the noise and hubbub of raucous soldiers. Too much idle thinking lead him back to unsavoury things but he’d rather that than the uncomfortable feeling from too much noise. Besides, he was well-practiced now in the art of supressing his feelings, squashing them down as if they were a fly to be swatted (because that’s how important they were).

 

When he was assigned with Flamek, he only felt satisfaction in the dullest sense of the word for a short while before his mind moved to more important things.

 

For a long time he thought that this was fine.

 

On his way to a mission, he passed through a village.

 

It was ordinary in many ways and to a normal person, would not seem very impressive. To Eustace, the amiability of the villagers at the market stirred memories of a similar place close to his heart that was long gone. Though he managed to squash down the pang of sadness before it could spring up, he was unable to prevent the longing for a similar peace and quiet from taking root.

 

000

 

Danchou and Lyria do not particularly impress him when he first meets them. From first glance, they appear to be a regular crew, albeit a little young and energetic. He figures there must be something more to them considering they’re already familiar with Zeta and Vaseraga and when he tests them in battle, they are capable.

 

Eustace is well aware that he comes off as terse and intimidating and he makes no move to change that. It irritates people for sure (Vaseraga is the only one who understands) but what people think matters little as long as the job gets done. More hands on deck with the mission will help. If he misuses them too much, he won’t hear the last of it from Zeta but they can at least be a distraction while he carries out his work in the background.

 

Knowing full well that the alliance is temporary, Eustace makes no move to acquaint himself with the crew. For some reason, that displeases them. Peace and quiet keeps him happiest but he knows full well he is a guest and he is not stopping them from talking on their own property. He does not withhold important information when they ask for it at least.

 

000

 

Interrogating Skull is child’s play. Eustace has had far harder targets to deal with in his time and Skull, idiot as he is, divulges information like a waterfall erupting out of a fragile dam – a waterfall that does not stop talking.

 

Having the quiet interrupted is bothersome but the merit of it is that Skull reveals enough about his personality and what drives him that Eustace can easily manipulate him into doing what he needs him to do. His reliability is questionable but he is no challenge to Eustace.

 

The constant insults are an earsore; Eustace almost wishes Zeta was here because at least sometimes she has something worth saying.

 

Eustace is mildly surprised that the crew are against abandoning Skull (even if his filthy mouth was not so detestable it’s clear that keeping him around is a time bomb waiting to happen) but leaves them to it, focused on what he’s really here for.

 

000

 

Out of the four of them, Beatrix is by far the most foolish and brash one. She is emotional and too ambitious, seeking validation from poorly planned, self-forged missions to overcompensate from her past. Eustace knows – Ilsa passed him her file when she was assigned under his command – but that doesn’t mean he respects her enough to beg her to come back. Sometimes people have to learn things the hard way.

 

And yet as he walks away with the Embrasque sword, her accusations of the ‘golden child’ not knowing what she’s gone through irritate him. She, likewise, would never understand how much Eustace has sacrificed to get this far. Beatrix at least had Zeta. Eustace had nobody.

 

He has at least recovered the Embrasque sword so the Odjakamuki can’t misuse it (Beatrix’s unwillingness to return was on her). Yet, it still feels like a failure and it comes to light when he returns to the crew.

 

The worst part is that Skull, the traitorous scum he is, tries to use this to get a rise on him. It actually works this time and Eustace surprises himself with his outburst. He hasn’t snapped in _years_.

 

Lyria is right when she says he didn’t want to abandon Beatrix but when he tries to press forward like he’s always done, the crew protests and forces him to turn back for her.

 

000

 

He finds opportunities to redeem himself. When Beatrix is brought out, everything goes exactly to how he planned, right from Guzaletha falling into the trap of buying them time by gloating about his twisted plot down to Vaseraga and Zeta coming with backup. Those two bicker a lot but he can always count on them when the time is right. Zeta calling him out for his bullshit was not welcomed but he does accept his faults when they’re called out on.

 

Everything just falls into place one by one and he can’t help but smile. He’s surprised he even remembers how to do that.

 

000

 

Guzaletha’s words already confirm everything that Eustace was suspicious of within the Society. Eustace had practically grown up with the Society and he’d watched as it slowly strayed further and further away from it’s original purpose. They still ‘pursued’ the Foe but in the backdrop, there were inner conflicts between the leaders fighting for power over each other as well as the rest of the sky.

 

The usual “I want peace and quiet” came out but deep inside he knew that with the Society as it was, he wouldn’t ever find it.

 

As he walked away to let Skull land the finishing blow, he began to ponder on what would be the right course of action to take in regards to the Society.

 

000

 

Vaseraga and Zeta were due to leave on another mission but before that, Vaseraga took him aside.

 

“You haven’t been ordered to stay here to kill them right?”

 

“No… not yet at least.” Eustace wasn’t lying in that regard. He’d been ordered to dispatch Lyria if she turned out to be a threat but he had seen nothing compelling him to do that and he had a feeling he wouldn’t.

 

Still, he could feel Vaseraga judging him from behind the mask. Eventually, he just clamped his big hand on Eustace’s shoulder and left, his parting words being “Don’t hurt them.”

 

Eustace had no response. At this moment in time, he could make no promises.

 

000

 

It had been a couple of weeks since he had joined danchou’s crew and he was starting to suspect that he’d never find anything to suggest they were a danger.

 

In truth they did more good than harm. They resolved conflicts happening on the islands as a result of the empire’s meddling or otherwise but they also stopped to complete little quests that sometimes had no meaningful rewards. Indeed, often times they were just satisfied with being able to help; Eustace could see it clear as day on their smiles.

 

The longer he stayed with them, the more changes he felt within himself. He still stuck to his peace and tranquillity ideology, preferring to watch Vyrn and Lyria’s antics from a distance instead of actively joining in, but he was more receptive to them attempting to start a conversation. Eustace’s smiles, however discrete they were, were also making more often appearances.

 

The embers that were his emotions were beginning to glow, waiting to be fanned back into existence.

 

000

 

Eustace pet a dog for the first time.

 

For much of his life, animals had been afraid of him and he had just accepted it. As he watched the villagers freely indulge in interacting with their dogs, Eustace had felt a small pang of envy but he had just stayed in the background, thinking that he would have to be content with just far off glances.

 

And yet here he was. A dog was accepting his touch and willingly continuing to snuggle up with him. Eustace had wanted to do this for so long. He hadn’t anticipated that it would feel so magical and for the moment he forgot everything else around him in favour of savouring the joy that was blooming within him. Lyria and Vyrn’s surprise at him talking more were lost on him. Peace and tranquillity had never felt so good.

 

Alas, that came to a screeching halt when the buzz of his transceiver shook him out of his reverie. Sighing, he reluctantly detached himself from the dog and moved near the treeline to answer the call privately.

 

The order he had been dreading came.

 

As the order came despite his protests, his blood ran cold. He paused, turning over what his options were.

 

All his life, he had followed orders faithfully, trusting that the intentions were well placed and yet this time he felt he could not do so. Even if the crew were weak and easy to dispatch, Eustace could clearly see all the underlying problems that came with eliminating them. The order was essentially demanding that he erase an entirely innocent group of people on nothing more than the theoretical possibility that Lyria would one day be a threat. Eustace had watched her long enough to know that she was only a danger to those who opposed the crew. The corrupt leaders knew that would be them one day. They could frame it any way they like but Eustace knew full well it was just them crushing people who threatened their power.

 

On the other hand, what were Eustace’s other options? Sure, he wasn’t the little defenceless boy he used to be. He was stronger, better equipped and more knowledgeable about the land that existed outside the borders of his town. If he wanted to, he could certainly strike out a living by himself, seeking the peace and tranquillity he had desired. Eustace wondered however if that would really work. Could he really indulge himself in a peaceful life somewhere, knowing about all the organisations and such that were wreaking havoc elsewhere?

 

Then there were the crew. There were practical reasons to staying with them but there were many other uncharacteristically sentimental ones too. In a way, the crew’s presence was comforting, a sort of peace that he had yet to find anywhere else. Admittedly, Eustace still hadn’t learnt how to properly relax around them, still on alert wherever he was on the Grandcypher but he felt way more at home there than he had anywhere since he’d lost his true home.

 

“I will preserve tranquillity and stillness.”

 

“Hmmm? Yes, I understand that, but, why are you mentioning that all of a sudden?”

 

“…Therefore…” Eustace took a moment to steel his resolve before he continued. “…I refuse.”

 

Ronan’s baffled response was expected; nobody would ever expect Eustace to refuse an order. Eustace removed the transceiver from his ear and crushed it, feeling a sort of tension leak out of him as he discarded his connection from the Society.

 

This was it, there was no going back now. Eustace would be discharged from the Society forever and for once in his life, it mattered little to him. If they were going to continue to give him ridiculous orders like that then he had no use for them. He would find a way to seek his revenge on the Foe a different way. Even if he died without every getting close to that, he would be more than content as long as he could continue basking in the crew’s special peace and quiet.

 

A dog approaches him along with the crew. Eustace uses it as an excuse to avoid eye contact with the crew. The remains of his betrayal lie in a bush just out of their sight. He could tell them what had happened, what he had almost been ordered to do but decides against it. There was no need for it. Eustace would shoulder the knowledge alone and protect their peace.

 

000

 

The Society contacts him again, apparently so unwilling to lose their favourite tool that they were willing to drop the matter on Lyria as long as he came back. He returned to service, if only so he would still have access to important documents on the Foe and be able to help people in ways that danchou could not. There were some uses to being a tool he supposed.

 

Eustace laid out the outfit he had bought with the rupees the Society had provided him. The request to dress specifically as a vampire was odd but not unreasonable. It had taken him a while to find a costume that was not outrageously expensive while not being so poorly made that it was uncomfortable and tacky. Not all the costumes had the back exposed either; Eustace tended to overheat if shirts did not have that part removed.

 

It was a little freeing to be honest. Halloween was not a holiday that had been celebrated in his hometown. The costume had a lot less parts to it than his usual attire, since he had to forgo armour in favour of being a convincing disguise. He had tried it on once in the store but putting it on a second time only confirmed that it had been a good investment. The clothes were comfortable, soft and cool to touch, while offering more than sufficient movement. Eustace was not at all vain by any means but as he was attaching the clip to his ear, he did admit that it suited him well. Maybe he would wear it again next Halloween if he didn’t have any missions assigned.

 

There was a clink as the door to the room opened. The tell-tale thuds told him Vaseraga had entered, and considering they shared a room on the Grandcypher, it was no big surprise for him to come in. When he heard nothing however, he turned around, cape fluttering as he did so.

 

Vaseraga was very obviously staring. If he was trying to hide it, he was doing a terrible job of it.

 

“…Is there a problem?” Eustace asked.

 

There was a pause and then, “You look good.”

 

Eustace was not oblivious to Vaseraga’s respect for him as his superior and he’d received the odd praise every so often but aesthetic compliments were unheard of.

 

“…Thanks.”

 

He left Vaseraga to whatever he was doing then, shoes making a quiet tap on the floor as he made his way out to start on his mission.

 

000

 

The whole mission had been a farce. There had been no auction and he had caused a load of disruption with no reward. A little dejection was expected but if Eustace really thought about it, it hadn’t been a total waste of time.

 

The festivities had allowed for some quality time with the crew and he’d gotten a few laughs out of teasing them. He had had fun, and he was looking forward to spending the next Halloween properly with the crew.

 

000

 

There was no doubt about it now. His emotions were returning in full force. What was once just mere flickers was now a roaring fire, rising ever out of his control. He _could_ try and rein it back in, go back to not feeling anymore but as he watched over the crew milling about on deck, he knew that was not the right thing anymore. Eustace had grown enough to not need that safety net anymore; feeling emotions would not make him any less useful.

 

And it felt…nice. Indeed, his time spent with the crew had thawed the frozen depths of his heart and where there was once cold indifference now lay a warmth, so soft and comfortable he was almost on the verge of crying. He felt alive, seeing and feeling more to life than just what mission was next on his list.

 

Eustace made a vow that night, that he would protect the crew that had he had come to treasure so dearly. That Flamek was a product of the Foe mattered little to him, all that mattered was that he was strong enough to protect that which he loved.

 

000

 

Eustace had found more hard evidence of the Society’s corruption in their archives and he made a mental note to share this information with Vaseraga and Zeta later. The three of them were working together on investigating the Society though what exactly they could do with the information was still uncertain.

 

He was pondering this while cleaning his gun when he spotted Zeta approaching him. The grin on her face did not bode well.

 

She stopped in front of him and waited expectedly for him to notice her.

 

Sighing, he looked up. “What?”

 

Zeta took another glance around before she whispered, “Vaseraga has a crush on you.” When all she got in response was a lifted eyebrow, she continued, “You know he stares at your back right when he thinks you’re not looking?”

 

“So?”

 

Honestly Eustace was not in the mood to play along with Zeta’s antics but the exasperated look she gave him suggested maybe she wasn’t joking this time. “Really? That’s all you have to say when you find out someone has feelings about you?”

 

‘Bold of you to assume I know what I’m meant to do about that’ Eustace thought to himself. Really, in between all the missions he pushed himself through and the emotion suppression problems, romance had not even registered in him. To be honest, he wasn’t even sure how being in love was meant to feel. Regardless, acting on what may be baseless gossip was foolish. He had better things to concentrate on than rumours.

 

Zeta rolled her eyes. “At least go talk to him yeah? Watching him pine over you at the bar is sad.”

 

The buzzing of the transceiver in Eustace’s pocket halted the conversation. Thankful of an excuse to leave, he rose to take the call away from the ship. Zeta’s eyes were on him till he left.

 

000

 

That call was suspicious from the start but Eustace was almost mad that he didn’t realise it was a trap till Ronan confronted him. It was unusual for someone other than Ronan to issue his orders and the other person’s refusal to answer his questions said enough. The moment he realised it had been a ploy to draw him away from the ship, he turned and sprinted back the way he came.

 

Knowing that this could potentially cost him angered him. He would not let anyone get away with taking his family away from him.

 

It was almost too late. The soldiers had surrounded the small group and Lyria was being dragged away. Taking aim with Flamek, he shot the soldier who held her captive, his aim ringing true. He wasted no time in joining the fight, determination clear in every move as he fought for their safety.

 

“Do you think you’ll be forgiven for this behaviour!”

“That’s right! The Society doesn’t take kindly to traitors!”

 

It was true that the Society had brushed over his first act of insubordination but there was no telling what would happen to him for actively resisting Society forces. Eustace was not afraid of death. He was more concerned of what he would leave behind. Vaseraga and Zeta were strong and could help protect danchou and Lyria but the Society was bigger than just they could handle. Even Eustace by himself was not enough but together they held some shaky security for the crew.

 

Danchou had already garnered enough enemies across all their travels, protecting them from the one enemy Eustace could do something about was the least he could do. If something happened to him, that would be one less obstacle between the Society and Lyria.

 

That being said, Eustace was not about to willingly go along with the Society’s schemes.

 

000

 

Ronan stopped the conflict from going any further and as Eustace slinked away with him to have a private conversation, Eustace had already decided what he was going to do.

 

“Should I be a dog for them, be a dog for you, or be a stray bent on revenge?”

 

 **“** Are you asking me to choose?”

 

 **“** Yes.” Eustace had picked his words carefully and he could tell from the way things were going that his plan was working. Negotiation was something he was well versed in and Ronan was the most likely to accept his deal.

 

 **“** What are your conditions...”

 

 **“** No more interference with danchou and Lyria's journey.”

 

His services as an agent were really all he could offer. Eustace was not oblivious to his worth within the Society and knowing about the ever escalating conflicts arising in the Society, he knew he would either be employed or dispatched as a threat. He might as well choose how he is involved and who he is affiliated with. It would be foolish for Ronan to refuse having such a competent unit willingly serve them.

 

As the deal was sealed, Eustace walked away with a smile, content that he had secured another layer of safety for the crew.

 

000

 

Eustace knew what the crew were like and yet he was still surprised when they emphasised their willingness to support him despite everything that had happened. He truly felt lucky that such a group had wholeheartedly accepted him. As he caught up to them, the warmth in him burnt with the same brilliance as the sky at sundown.

 

000

 

Vaseraga sat close by to Eustace often. Zeta’s claims twinged at the back of his mind but he ignored them for the most part. There was no use to jumping to conclusions.

 

The draph was probably the one Eustace felt most comfortable with. He was content to sit with Eustace in silence and when they did have small talk, he was not loud and boisterous like some of the other crew members were.

 

His face remained concealed behind his mask indefinitely but Eustace was not about to go remove it to see what sorts of faces he was pulling. For now, all they did was savour the peace and quiet that came, together.

 

111

 

The crew did not meet any Society soldiers for a long while and Eustace was glad but he was not foolish to think the peace would last forever. One or more of the higher ups would not be content to let this new barrier remain and someone would come for Eustace eventually. He would do his best to face the challenges that came but even he could not last forever.

 

As he faced the squadron that surrounded him in the forest, he knew that time had come. Mentally, he thanked the crew that had done so much for him and the small knit group of Society agents that he had worked with. Then he fought, for his life.

 

Eustace did not get to unholster Flamek for much of the fight; there were too many soldiers too close for him to even get a chance to. Fire blazed in his eyes as he used everything in his power to whittle down the numbers as far down as he could. Whatever remained may go after the crew and he could not let them do that.

 

There must have been about a 100 soldiers after him, and Eustace got desperate when he began to tire and saw he still had a long way to go. He briefly thought about using Flamek’s thunder, decided against it when he remembered what Grynoth had done to Vaseraga when he had used it against regular humans, and then changed his mind when he realised his choices were either die and let these soldiers take Lyria away or take a risk and take them all out in one fell swoop.

 

He’d passed a clearing earlier, with an elevated rock that he could use as a vantage point. Eustace slowly lead the soldiers there. When he had most of them in the clearing, he clambered his way up the rock and raised Flamek to the sky.

 

“Flamek Thunder! Your hour is nigh. Bring forth your fury and scorch the heavens!”

 

Some of the men realised what he was doing and attempted to flee but it was too late. Lightning crashed around him, knocking out several men at once with each strike. Nobody who was out in the open survived.

 

Pain lanced through Eustace’s arm. His yell echoed through the woods as he clutched his arm, trying to will the pain away. It was overwhelming but he fought through the pain regardless, panting as he picked Flamek up and hurried through the trees to pursue the stragglers who had escaped.

 

His right arm was unusable but his left was serviceable. Soldiers were sniped left and right without mercy. After about an hour of searching, Eustace conceded that the majority of them had been taken care of and began to limp his way home. He was not without injury of course but he could grit through it.

 

Eustace then numbly realised he had no idea which direction the Grandcypher was, considering he had been too busy fighting to take bearings. He picked a random direction and walked, praying that it was the right way.

 

His strength was slowly receding and he worried that he would exhaust and perish before getting even close to home.

 

 _Home?_ Yes, he supposed that’s what he could call it. It had been over half his lifetime since he’d lost the place he was born and that ship was the only place since then that had come anywhere near close to feeling like home. He had stayed in Society bunks for much of his adult life but they were barren and cold, merely for function with no real emotion attached. Thinking about how he had a place to return to made tears well up in his eyes.

 

He reminisced about another such walk he had taken a long time ago. Eustace was older now and shuffling through leaf litter rather than knee deep snow but the physical struggle felt much the same. This time though, he did not hurt inside. At this moment in time, he was not grieving for his lost home nor was he burning with anger at the Foe. On the contrary he felt…content. He longed to return to his home – his new one – but if he did not get there it would be okay. After so long, he had finally found a peace and tranquillity worth protecting and along the way had rediscovered himself. Even as blood slowly dripped out of his chilling body, he felt that now familiar warmth in his chest.

 

Being deep in thought and starting to feel light-headed, Eustace almost did not notice the soldier creeping up on him. He turned just in time for the spear to pierce through his abdomen. The force of the strike pushed both of them back and they were powerless to stop themselves from tumbling over the cliff into the rapids.

 

Eustace choked on water as he was swept down before he knocked his head against a rock and slipped into unconsciousness, Flamek sliding out of his grip.

**Author's Note:**

> Before you panic, NO Eustace is NOT dead. I just decided to move some scenes from this fic into the next one since focusing too much on eustace/vaseraga drew the attention away from the true focus of this fic (and also that last scene was so difficult to write jfc). 
> 
> EDIT 2: i posted the follow up to this fic as part of my kiss drabble collection! It's chapter 4 of You and I. I'm planning to rewrite eustace's character study one final time to incorporate the new things we learnt in spaghetti syndrome. It'll end up as a standalone fic with no romance but you will still be able to read this version and the follow up if you wish to since those two are fairly ok to read.


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